During a recent meeting with a coworker, I shared an issue I was dealing with in my organization and needed help resolving. We contacted a mutual friend, who recommended I speak with the leader of another department.

My coworker asked if I knew the individual. I told her I knew who he was. However, I didn’t have a relationship with him. She smiled and pulled out her phone and called him. After a few minutes of pleasantries, my coworker connected us.

After several minutes, the leader and I worked out a solution to my problem. My coworker leveraged her relationship to help me? Why? Because we had a relationship.

Stephen Covey is one of my favorite authors. His book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, transformed the way individuals pursued success. Covey emphasized the importance of relationships. Covey said, “In relationships, the little things are the big things.”

Relationships are hard to build and maintain, and this makes them even more precious. If you’ve worked hard to establish your business relationships, you need to do everything you can to protect them. However, there are many things you may be doing to ruin these precious relationships without being aware of it. Here are five:

1. Taking Before Giving

Relationships are based on reciprocity. You give, and you take. Each party feels that they’re getting something valuable from the other side. This is obvious to most business people, but what is the ratio of your giving and taking?

You should never make the other party feel like you’re doing something expecting something in return. Instead, pay it forward, be overly generous and wow the other person with all of the value you can, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship.

2. Communicating One-Way

Does it appear to the other person that you talk and never listen? This produces a one-sided relationship that’s really not much of a relationship at all. Picture this situation in a personal context, and it’s easy to see. Most of us avoid people who dominate every conversation in our personal lives.

In a good relationship, there’s always a dialog. You should always strive to listen more than you talk. This not only maintains a strong relationship, but you’ll also learn a great deal about your partner that you may not have noticed if you were talking.

3. Being Secretive

Secrecy is a significant relationship killer. Of course, in business, there are always things that must be kept secret. However, it would be best if you kept your confidentiality to a minimum. Hiding things makes you appear dishonest, and openness is essential for establishing trust in a relationship.

Try to be as transparent as possible without giving out secrets or too much information. Make sure the other party knows everything they need to know about what’s going on. Give the other person plenty of opportunities to ask questions if they need to.

4. Not Building Rapport

A business relationship is about business, and both parties know it. But if you’re all about the business and nothing else, this isn’t going to feel much like a relationship, but rather an exchange of commodities.

It would help if you established rapport. This means establishing a baseline of comfort on a personal level. Find things that you share in common and rely on these things to strengthen your bond. When you start by establishing rapport, you create a strong relationship for the long-term.

5. Not Saying You’re Sorry

Do you have trouble apologizing? This could be damaging your important business relationships. When you do something wrong or make a mistake, own up to it quickly and sincerely. Even major mistakes can be mended if you’re willing to apologize. The apology starts you on the path to reconciliation.

Relationships are crucial to your success as a leader.

Quality relationships are built on principles, especially the principle of trust.”

Stephen Covey

Leaders must establish trust to build strong relationships.

Do you have behaviors causing damage to your business relationships?

Your leadership guide,
Kim

Dr. Kim Moore | Your Leadership Guide | kimdmoore.com

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Dr. Kim Moore

About the author

I'm Kim, your Educational Leadership Guide. I equip educational leaders with research-based and experientially learned educational leadership principles and best practices to promote student success.


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