Early in my career, one of my colleagues strongly disagreed with our leader on his interpretation of our job description. As the newest member of the team, I wasn’t sure what the issue was and why my colleague was so upset.
During our weekly meeting, our boss repeated his expectations for us to improve the organization’s performance. Before our boss could finish his thoughts, my colleague exploded!
For the next 15 minutes, they went back and forth in a heated debate. As I sat there watching and listening to the screaming match, I wondered how we would move forward as a team?
It took several months for us to recover from the meeting. During that time, we had several discussions with our leader to clearly define his vision and expectations. At the end of the year, my colleague decided he was not a good fit for our organization, and he changed jobs.
When strong emotions are stirred up during a meeting, they can completely derail the meeting and steer it away from its goals. Defensiveness and anger have no place in a business meeting. They can only damage it, and they never produce good results.
Since the meeting room isn’t the place for outbursts and meltdowns, strong emotions must be managed well.
Many leaders don’t realize one of the secrets to running effective
- Prepare Thoroughly: There’s less chance for emotional explosions in a meeting that’s tightly structured. Establish, review and enforce meeting norms. Be well prepared for the meeting and create a detailed schedule. Try to anticipate which areas may be emotional and create a contingency plan for dealing with them if trouble arises.
- Employ Empathy: When strong emotions erupt, try to handle it calmly. Start by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. What are they feeling that is causing the outburst? Rather than condemning them for letting their emotions get the best of them, try to see the situation through their eyes. If you can see it through the other person’s eyes, you’ll better understand how to defuse the situation. You can also let them know that you understand, and this can also calm them down.
- Take a Break: An excellent strategy for dealing with strong emotions during meetings is to take a break and cool down. This is the business meeting version of counting down from ten and taking deep breaths. Leave the meeting room and let everyone go their separate way so that they can decompress. Give it five or ten minutes for everyone to cool down and process their emotions. Everyone will come back to the meeting feeling more calm and collected.
- Apologize Quickly: It’s very easy for people who are emotionally intelligent to say that they’re sorry. These simple words can defuse many tense situations. An apology may be all the upset person wants to hear. The outburst may not be your fault, but learn to apologize easily.
Apologizing shows sympathy, and it shows that you understand how the other person feels. - Assign no Blame! Things get heated quickly when there are accusations and blame. Never blame someone in a meeting, even if they clearly did something wrong. Blame is almost sure to trigger defensiveness and all of the strong emotions that come with it. Instead, go back to
agenda for the meeting.
Get to know your own emotions and emotional triggers. Even if a meeting gets out of hand, keep yourself calm and learn to deal with your emotions appropriately. Develop your own emotional intelligence and let it help you keep things under control.
Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”
Ambrose Bierce
As a leader, how you respond to emotional outbursts will set the tone for your organization. Therefore, what you say and when you say it, is critical.
Are emotions running your meetings?
Your leadership guide,
Kim
Dr. Kim Moore | Your Leadership Guide | kimdmoore.com
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