When I was a child, I thought I could conquer the world. I believed I could be whatever I wanted to be.
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I was going to be a doctor, who was a professional dancer and singer. One of my favorite pastimes was watching musical movies.
I loved to watch Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Ginger Rogers and Cyd Charisse dance their way through life’s ups and downs. I would sing along and try to imitate their dance steps. Although I would practice, practice, practice, I could never master their steps!
As I grew older, something changed. Although I was a pretty good dancer growing up, I became convinced I could never become a great dancer. I began to doubt my abilities, which lead to a fear of failure.
To justify my beliefs, I told myself many different stories to rationalize not trying. For example, I would tell myself, we don’t have the money for dance lessons, or my friends would laugh at me. Because of my negative self-talk, I never shared my desires with anyone.
As I grew older, my career decisions evolved into more practical choices. When things didn’t work out, the voice in my head would tell me a story to justify my decision.
During a coaching session with my executive coach, we discussed the next steps in achieving my goals. She challenged me to answer the “what if you had no constraints” and “why not” questions. As we discussed my responses, my coached tuned into the underlying theme of my story.
After I finished sharing why I believed someone was trying to sabotage my goals, my coach asked me why I felt that way? I gave her a detailed explanation to justify my response. When I finished my story, my coached looked at me in the eye and asked, “what if the story wasn’t true?”
Her question stopped me in my tracks. I wasn’t sure how to respond. My coach told me my story didn’t line up with the person’s actions. As we ran out of time we agreed to continue our discussion during our next session. As I prepared to leave, my coach asked me to tune in to my story and how it affects my decisions.
Over the next month, I began to understand the power of my coach’s question. As I tuned into my story, I realized how it was impacting my decisions. I was reminded of a quote I read recently:
[shareable cite=”Lisa Hayes”]Be careful of how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”[/shareable]
As you move through your day, are you aware of your thoughts? Leaders face challenges every day. The question is how you will respond.
[callout]If you engage in negative self-talk, you will sabotage your success.[/callout]
So how do you change your story? Start by tuning in to your self-talk. When negative talk starts, talk back to it! Take control of the conversation and change your story!
Remember what Naomi Judd said, “your body hears everything that your mind says.” Therefore, tune into your radar!
How do you overcome negative stories?
Your leadership guide,
Kim
Dr. Kim Moore | Your Leadership Guide | kimdmoore.com
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