Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn…

Maxwell_SometimeYouWin_HC__17982_zoomOur thoughts guide our choices which direct our actions. As a mother of five (yes five children), I told my children over and over there are consequences for your choices, so make good choices. As I reflect on that advice, I realized I missed a major step in the process. I didn’t address their thinking. I skipped over the relationship between thinking and action. I expected my children to learn from their mistakes without addressing the root cause of the problem.

My goal, as a parent, was to help my children deal with success and failure. Life is difficult and fraught with challenges, so how do we overcome disappointment, hardship, and failure? How do we develop resiliency? In his new book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, John Maxwell offers a roadmap for learning from our experience. If we want to learn from our experiences, we must change our thinking. John Wooden said we must be eternal students. To change our thinking, we must dissect our failures and learn from them instead of running away from them.

So how do we learn from our mistakes, disappoints, and losses? The same way NFL teams prepare for the next game. NFL teams study game film on their opponent including how other teams defeated them. We can also learn from how others handled failure and follow their advice. John shares his roadmap for learning from loss in Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn.

As a grandmother, I remind my grandchildren there are consequences for every choice, but I also explore their thought process. As they encounter difficulties, I challenge their thinking to affect their choices and change their actions. How will you change your thinking to change your actions?

Your friend,
Kim

Dr. Kim Moore

Kim_d._moore

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  • Great post, Kim, and a reminder that we all need and want to be more resilient to life’s obstacles. I’m a firm believer that the most important attribute within the emotional intelligence framework is resilience. Further, the most effective way to build resilience is to practice increased gratitude. This, in turn, builds a deeper sense of optimism which naturally leads to resilience.